The more things change the more they stay the same. Or so they say. Or something.
I don’t go to college anymore. It’s still hard to wrap my head around.
I still live at home (though not for long).
I have the same job (though not for long either).
I have the same boyfriend (thanks be to goodness for that).
But it’s definitely not the same relationship. When I think of the people we were and the couple we started out as I can’t help but beam with ridiculous self congratulatory pride at who we have become.
(Though I try not to. Nobody likes hanging out with that girl.)
When Rich and I started going out we were babies in every sense of the word. We’d spend hours kissing on the couch due in part to a lack of having anything to actually say to each other. I would huff and puff and sulk when things didn’t go my way, hoping that he would figure out exactly his wrong doing and the perfect way in which to fix it. He rarely expressed an emotion and was mostly mute around my family. I remember at the very, very beginning I wasn’t overly keen on how it was all going. A friend told me I should just break up with him already because I clearly wasn’t into him. Something inside me told me to give us a chance.
I’m so very glad I did.
We first got together in school. It was cute. Then Rich went to college and it was hard. We were at different stages. The following year I started college. It was hard. I found the transition from school to college tough. Final year was hard for him. Then final year was hard for me. Richard being unable to find a job in his field was hard. And now he has a job that takes him away four days and nights a week which is really hard.
But the funny thing is that as hard as it gets, the clearer it all becomes. This is it. This is us and it’s not going to change. We don’t want it to. It’s worth it. And it just keeps getting better and better. I know that lots of people will roll their eyes because we’re young and we haven’t travelled or worked abroad or spent time apart or lots of other euphemisms for ‘slept with other people.’ .
A few months ago we shook on it. We’re sticking together. It’s official. Five was a big year for us. It was the fullest year of my life. I finished college, produced a degree show, wrote a thesis and got a first. My brother and his girlfriend had a baby Lola bear. My cousin died and all of our worlds fell apart. We’re still putting ourselves back together. Some days breathe easier than others. My sister got married. I thought I’d never want a wedding. But things change. We started planning for the future.
And the future looks really good.